Giggles, Sugar, Catnip and Steak
by One Fujoshi Otaku Among Many
Summary: MY FIRST FICCIE! YAY! Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are doing their double cartwheel, but Jerrie gets hurt and Teazer has to find someone else to go thieving with her. But the only Jellicle free is Etcetera!


Disclaimer: I don't own CATS, nor am I a Jellicle cat. I only own Tara.

"All roight, naow, you grab moi legs and Oi grab your waist and den..."

A great many of the Jellicles watched with interest as Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, a brother/sister pair of cat burglars who helped to supply much of the Jellicles food, practice their famous double cartwheel. Almost all of the kittens thought that they were two of the greatest cats in the tribe. They usually spoke with a cockney accent that few people could understand, but they could use any accent at all. They could look like any cat at all. They knew just about every language. As kittens, they had been kit-napped by the Napoleon of Crime himself, Macavity. He had forced them to learn how to disguise themselves and become burglars for him.

Right before the last ball, when Munkustraps sister Demeter had been taken by the Hidden Paw, the notorious duo had sprung her out of her cell and gotten her back to the Junkyard. After a trial period of one year, during which they had helped the Jellicles to rescue another queen, who had also been taken, and fend off Macavity, they had been accepted into the tribe.

The two young adults began to go around and around. As they neared the edge of the clearing, Mungojerrie's foot hit a patch of ice and slipped out from under him. Teazer managed not to slip and fall, but Jerrie crashed right into a pile of junk. He continued slipping until he fell over an small dip that led to an iced over pond. It was a favorite diving spot in the summer, but in winter it was potentially dangerous. Jerrie landed on the pond with a snapping sound and a small cry of pain.

"Jerrie! Are ya all roight?"

"It moi arm. Oi tink Oi broke it. Oi won't be able ta gao t'ieven wit ya tanoight, Teze. You'll 'ave ta foind someone else ta go wive ya. An ya can't skip it. It's wintah, so deres no mice and rats ta 'unt, and we need some more meat. Da troib's runnin' low."

By now, a silver queen with black legs, white feet, a black face, black arms, white hands and some white markings had reached Jerrie, along with a grey, black and brown tom. Very few people would have expected Coricopat to take a mate, much less the bold, outspoken, rambunctious Tara, who used to work on a pirate/trading ship. The only thing that surprised the Jellicles even more was that Tara and Coricopat were two thirds of a triad, with the last third being Mungojerrie. No matter how much Tantomile had protested, there was nothing that could be done. Mungojerrie and Coricopat were soul-brothers, while Tara and Cori were soul-mates and Tara and Jerrie were soul-mates.

Rumpleteazer immediately scratched those two off of her list of people who could go with her. They would want to stay with Jerrie. Munkustrap was out too. He would have to protect the tribe. Jennyanydots and Jellylorum would be watching the kittens; Bombalurina and Demeter were still recovering; Rum Tum Tugger would want to flirt with the other queens; Tantomile, Admetus, Cassandra, Exotica, Plato and Tumblebrutus were at their human homes; Alonzo would be helping Munkus. That left the kits.

"'Ey, Victoria. Do ya want ta go t'ieven wit me tanoight?"

"Can't Teazer. Me and Mistoffelees are going to work on our dance for the next ball. Maybe Electra will want to."

"Sorry, Teazer. I want to work on my back flips. Try asking Pouncival."

"Sorry. I'm going to be looking around for more blankets and pillows. Try Quaxo."

"I need to work on my magic. Sorry."

Rumpleteazer sat on the edge of the tire in the main clearing and sighed. Everyone was busy. She would have to go thieving alone, something she did not relish. She would have to be extra careful, be alert for the tiniest of sounds, the smallest of movements, the...

"Hi Teazer! Why are you laying on the ground? Jenny won't like it if you get your fur all dirty."

Teazer blinked up at Etcetera. She had been so deep in thought that she hadn't heard the small calico princess come up behind her. All of a sudden, she sat up straight. Not everyone in the tribe was busy! She grinned up at Cettie, who was now batting at a butterfly.

" 'Ey Cettie, do ya tink you could come wive me tanoight? Oi got a job dat Oi need ta do, but Jerrie can't come wive me since 'e was 'urt. Oi can't do it alone, so will you come wive me?"

"Sure! What's the job?"

"Gettin' more meat for da troib. Meet me 'ere at da toier tanoight at foive. Make sure ta bring a sack for da loot."

"Kay!"

Rumpleteazer grinned to herself as she ran off to the lair Jerrie shared with his mate and soul-brother to tell him that she had found a partner for tonight. She completely forgot about Etcetera's reputation for ditsyness.

"Wot?! You're taikin' Cettie wive ya? On a job? Are ya craizy or somethin'? She can't tell 'er foot from 'er leg! Ain't dere anybody else ya can taik wive ya?"

Mungojerrie struggled to get up, staring at his sister as if she had gone crazy. Tara had to press firmly on his chest until he had to lay down once again. Rumpleteazer stared at him with a small frown, trying to ignore the scent of catnip that had invaded the room. Tara was using it to dull Jerrie's pain, since he was able to have a good amount without it making him loopy. Unfortunately, Teazer did not have her brothers resistance to the drug, and tried to stay away from it as much as possible. She shook her head slightly and fixed her brother with a slightly irritated glare, trying to stop her thoughts from wandering.

"No. Oi asked everyone else an' deir all busy. Either Oi go alone, or Oi go wive Cettie. Oi tink Oi'll taik moi chances wive Cettie. It's saifer dene goin' alone."

Jerrie frowned. Teazer mentally sighed. She knew that he wasn't happy about this, but that he wouldn't try to persuade her. He would, however, fidget and worry until she came back safe. She had better go and get this over with so Jerrie would calm down and allow himself to heal. And she knew that Tara would want him to be completely healthy or she would worry too. Though she had been a bit unsure of the feisty, fiery queen at first, she had come to like her brothers mate. She hoped that the silver queen liked her as well. Tara looked up and nodded vigorously. Jerrie, who was muttering unhappily to himself, didn't notice.

_«__Thank you, Teazer. I'm sorry I read you, but I couldn't help it. You're broadcasting again. I know that I may not be you're first choice of a mate for you're brother,but I am glad that you accept me. It can be rather uncomfortable for a psychic if any family of his or her mate doesn't approve, especially if they don't bother hiding it. I still am having some trouble with Tantomile, but she is starting to relent and relinquish her brother. If you want Cettie, she is in her lair, it's the back of the oven by the main square.__»_

Rumpleteazer nodded her thanks at the young psychic, said goodbye to her brother and Coricopat, and went off to get Cettie and escape from the catnip fumes.

"Soooo, where are we going again? And what are we doing?"

Teazer rolled her eyes. When she had gotten Cettie, the calico princess had bee sitting amidst a pile of candy wrappers. And now, Etcetera was a couple miles high on sugar. Rumpleteazer herself had been feeling a little out of it, but that was probably from the few whiffs of catnip she had gotten back at Jerrie's lair. She opened her mouth to answer Etcetera's question, when she spotted the back wall of the house that was their target. It was one of the biggest in Victoria Grove. They had reached it a few moments before dinnertime, and so would be just in time to get a nice, big juicy steak for the tribe. Hopefully. Teazer let out a nervous giggle, and was a bit surprised when Cettie joined in. The two Jellicles stopped for a moment, and looked at each other with excitement sparkling in their eyes. They scaled the wall and landed in a patch of a fragrant green plant of some sort. Teazer took a big sniff, as it was a bit familiar, but could not place the scent. She thought it smelled sort of like mint, and so took a small handful to taste. As the small leaves hit he tongue, her eyes lit up, and she began eating more of the leaves. She stopped when she saw Cettie looking at her with wide eyes.

"Wot?" She mumbled around a mouthful of the leaves.

"That's raw catnip. I thought you avoided the stuff."

Teazer's eyes went wide. She immediately spat out the mouthful she had, but the damage had already been done. As the two cats began to make their way to the door, her vision began to tilt. She staggered back and forth, but Cettie didn't notice. Cettie had brought along some of her candy, and had given some to Rumpleteazer. Cettie had also eaten some of the catnip, so both were on a sugar high and were loco with catnip. It was a recipe for disaster.

"Oops. Heheheheh."

The two Jellicles lurched drunkenly into the basement of the house. Teazer's giggle had now set off Cettie, and both of them were giggling as they climbed the stairs to the dining room. When they got there, they both just sat down and stared around the room. After a few moments, Cettie squealed "Ooh, shiny!" and went off to go look at a vase. Teazer followed her, but over estimated the distance. She bumped into the vase and it fell over. The marbles that had been in it spilled out and rolled everywhere. The two cats pounced on a few, then watched the rest roll around. They began to explore around some more. Quite thankfully, but unknown to the two 'nipped cats, the only people in the house were the cook and her helpers, and they couldn't hear a thing that was going on upstairs.

An hour or two later, as Teazer sat watching the pendulum on an old grandfather clock swing back and forth, back and forth, she felt something touch her mind. A few seconds later, she heard a voice in her head.

_«Teazer, it's Tara. What the Heaviside is taking you and Cettie so long? According to Jerrie, you should have been back over an hour ago? What—uh oh. Catnip. You're mind is fogged with it. And sugar. Dang. Now what?»_

_Ooooooh. Oi'm 'earing voices in moi 'ead. Am Oi goin' craizyer, or is dis an effect o' da 'nip. Maybe dis is wot 'appens when ya mix 'nip an' candy. Oi tink Oi would loik ta sleep naow. Sleep would be noice. _

_«**TEAZER!** You can not go to sleep. You have to get the steak that is sitting on the table behind you. Cettie will help you. You can not sleep until you get the steak back to the tribe. Do it as fast as you can.»_

_'Kay._

The two cats began to head to the table, but suddenly stopped. The effects of the candy were now catching up, and the catnip was fading a bit. Teazer grinned evilly at Cettie, who grinned right back. They began to giggle like maniacs and they took off. They were running around the room, not paying attention to what they ran into or knocked over. They finally stopped when they heard a shout and footsteps on the stairs.

"'Urry! Grab dat end and follow me!"

Etcetera nodded, eyes wide. Most of the sugar rush and 'nip high was gone now, leaving the two Jellicles mostly sane. She grabbed one end of the massive steak in her mouth while Rumpleteazer grabbed the other. With a small grunt, the two Jellicles lifted up the steak. It was much heavier than they had estimated. They began to leave the room, but as they passed the overturned vase, Teazer and Cettie slipped on the marbles. Cettie's momentum took her to the door and off of the first step. Rumpleteazer, on the other hand, ended up just running in place, trying not to fall down. She ended up underneath a small end table on the other side of the room from Cettie. She was about to run over to the door, when the cook came into the room. She immediately noticed the missing steak. Her eyes widened.

"It must be that horrible cat! Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer. If I find them..."

She took one more step forward and slipped on the marbles. She landed flat on her back and Teazer took the opportunity to rush across the room and through the door. The cook made it down to the basement just in time to see the tip of a orange and black tail slip through the window.

"I knew it! It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie, or Rumpleteazer! Well, there's nothing at all to be done about that, now."

The two cats stopped right outside the garden wall. Both were panting, and stared at each other with wide eyes. The steak lay in between them. All of a sudden, everything came crashing down on Teazer, who began to giggle uncontrollably. Cettie joined her after a moment, and it continued until both Jellicles were rolling around on the ground. They got up and picked up the steak in their front paws. Teazer knew that Jerrie would find all of this hilarious, especially the catnip part. She had only one thing to say to Cettie.

"Oi'm nevah, evah goin' t'ieven wit ya again, Cettie. It can be dangerous."

"'Kay."

Yay! Read and Review, please, peoples!


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